When a woman decides to walk onto a leadership path, sooner or later guilt tends to hit her. Questions like – Am I doing the best for my family? Will I be able to pay attention to my children? Will I be able to juggle work and home responsibilities? – hover around her mind making it difficult to stay focused and feel good about herself.
You are not only faced with the challenges of delivering work responsibilities but also battling with the expectations and stereotypical mindset of society. You may have many aspirations beyond the home, however, the guilt eventually burns those aspirations down. This leaves women to “settle” for things in life. Listen up – “DON’T SETTLE”.
These strategies will help you be free of your guilt. And also help you look and focus on the bigger picture in life!
1. Set your priorities straight
One of the most grounding experiences you can indulge in is being clear about your values and priorities in life. Live your life as per how you want it to be.
For example, say you aren’t able to spend quality time with family. So, what should you do here? Spend time feeling guilty about it? No. Instead, put efforts to make it happen.
It’s important to learn to say no. Cancel unnecessary commitments and use the time you save on enjoying quality family time. Sometimes we end up spending a few hours in a day browsing our phones or watching TV. Instead, carve out some of that time to do some activity with the family. Else, involve your children in the activities you do at home. Furthermore, you can also block your weekends for your family.
2. Stop being harsh on yourself
If you are feeling guilty because you expect too much from yourself, cut yourself some slack. The best way to get over guilt is to stop beating yourself up over your circumstances or choices. It takes no time for guilt to turn into shame.
You may start labelling yourself – a bad mom, a bad employee, a bad person or a bad friend. Instead, choose to remember why you made these choices. Think about how will it benefit you in the long run. Know the reasons why you choose to make such decisions.
Every time your mind shouts, “You are a bad mom who can’t give time to your kids” tell yourself “I chose this for myself because it will help my children in the future”. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
3. Ask for help
We know one of the hardest things is to ask for help. Instead, doing it all by yourself will simply add to your stress – when finally, you realise that it’s hard.
It can be initially difficult to request help. But, once you do it, everything becomes simpler. You can always return the favour by reaching out to your friends, family, colleagues or neighbours.
No one should feel bad for asking for some help. With time, it will eventually become a reciprocal relationship where everyone has their benefits.
4. Step away from negativity
There will be many waiting for a chance to pull you down. They will never let go of an opportunity to take you on a guilt trip. However, such people are who you should avoid.
Social media can also be a huge trigger at times. With families vacationing at their favourite destinations, you might feel horrible for working and stepping up the corporate ladder.
But it is again necessary to remember why you chose to do it. Keep your distance from people who constantly bring you down.
Guilt is attached to empathy. If you feel guilty, it is because you care about the people around you. However, this guilt shouldn’t let you settle for anything less in life. Getting over your guilt does not label you as a bad woman.
Instead, it displays your strong personality and the need to rise above the so-called expectations of society. As you let go of guilt, you will feel better about yourself and will enjoy not just your work but also your time with family. This will help you motivate yourself each day to make tomorrow a bright one!
“A woman who is guilty is the one who cares above and beyond for her family” – Anonymous