Hi Aprajita, I can sense your concern for your kids. While it’s easy to give a generic answer on good parenting, I would urge you to reflect on where this concern is coming from. What are you observing in your kids that’s bothering you? what makes you believe that they are not independent? What might the kids be learning from observing your behaviour? Children tend to learn a lot more from what they see their parents do than from what their parents tell them. Model the behaviour you want to see in them. You’ve not mentioned their age but it’s never too late to start. If you change your behaviour, talk about how and why you feel the need to do so. They will get it.
Another very important aspect of parenting is to reflect on what messages you are giving based on how you react to situations. What do you praise and appreciate and what do you focus on? At our very core, we all look for approval and acknowledgment. Children need that even more from their parents. When they don’t feel acknowledged and appreciated, they could either get hooked to attention seeking behaviour or could withdraw into a shell and lose confidence. Become more aware of what you say to them, how you express your love and how you deal with challenges.
How can I create an environment to ensure that my kids learn what it takes to be independent and be proud of their own achievements. Please share some tips.
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