Caring for my mom

ForumCategory: CaregivingCaring for my mom
Sonalee Staff asked 2 years ago

4 Answers
Saritha Kunder answered 2 years ago

Today she is with you. You are her parent and she is the child suffering and enduring… We all have to go through this cycle of life. And when it’s our turn all we need is our loved ones around to care for us…
Please, give her tender care. Understand her pains and crankiness. Let go of your anger by taking few deep breaths. Distract and get few minutes of change…Take help from your support system. Do not give in to negative energies or thoughts. Only stay positive and calm. You only have control over yourself… and remember… this will also pass.
I wish tomorrow when you look back in time you are convinced you gave it your best. Hugs.

Vinita answered 2 years ago

Understanding the emotions and situation you are going through. Getting vibes of fear you are dealing daily and putting your energy in winning this silent battle.
Would invite you to sit with your ownself for a while and look what is creating that fear? What are you trying to manage? Are you dealing with which is in your control and competency?
Just check the quotient of love and affection for the person , identified as rock. Enhance that love for her and for yourself and see how the acceptance of reality will emerge within yourself. Take care .

Sonali Sinha answered 2 years ago

It must be really tough seeing the rock of your family in this condition. The range of emotions that you are going through is natural – there is no need to fight it or correct it because there is no right or wrong emotion here. You are feeling what you are feeling based on how you are thinking about the situation and your beliefs about how you ‘should’ be handling the situation.
Our need for being in control tends to be really strong and so we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. One thing that helps me put things in perspective is the Circles of Concern and Influence by Stephen Covey.

If we can identify all that is in our control and focus our energies on those things, we will then know that we are doing the best we can. This can help with the guilt we feel about the situation.
For the things that are not under our control, we can look towards the expert doctors and at a higher level towards God. If we can place our trust on them, then it is easier to accept.
Right now, you’re in the midst of this difficult situation so it’s natural to be on this emotional roller coaster. Be kind to yourself also and take care of your own health as well so that you can be there for your mom.
You can also reach out to friends and family and talk to them about what you are going through. It will give you some reprieve. Take care!

Coach Khadija answered 2 years ago

Your mom is ill from last 12 yrs and this is the FACT of your life. I would like you to check how ready are you to accept this as reality?… When you don’t make a conscious choice to accept the person,you tend to get angry and thereby guilt follows.
Don’t be hard on yourself too. You can have emotions of guilt, just observe it , give it a name and slowly you will see it melting away.
Acceptance is the key to make things easy… Best wishes!

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