“How will you manage your newborn along with your work? I was asked.
After all, mom’s are supposed to look after their baby, isn’t it? A woman should give up on her dreams and ambitions for her little one, right?
As my baby came into my life, the world felt completely new. I had a new role to cater to and I felt overwhelmed by it all. But I wanted to prove myself to everyone out there. People often interrogated me, “Your responsibilities have doubled. How will you manage?” And it irked me. Why was my baby only my responsibility and not my husband’s? Why wasn’t he subjected to these questions?
I wanted to show I could still juggle between motherhood and my work! Initially, it was a struggle. But I worked to prove others and not for myself. Thus, I felt lost, exhausted, hopeless and directionless. That’s when I realized. I need to work for my sanity. Not to show others how capable I am. I have to work for myself and that’s how I turned my life around at the right time.
But, what happens when you give up on your dreams not because you want to but because you are made to. You start resenting everything that goes wrong. You start feeling unfulfilled. Maybe you even start feeling worthless because you have no “actual” job. As if “MOTHERHOOD” isn’t a job in itself. Luckily, I found my escape and here I am going to help you too!
Practical Ways To Strike A Balance? Here’s How
1. Start With You
The first step, to begin with, is to love yourself. Lack of love and respect for yourself can make you into an angry mom. So cut some slack and do what’s best for you. Stop everything that adds up to your stress levels. Take out time to eat.
Drink fluids and catch up on sleep as and when you can. Ask yourself questions as to why you need to find a balance. Do you want this? And how this will affect your child? After all, you are displaying responsibility and self-love to your child. Focus on the positives this arrangement will get you.
2. Stick To Your Parenting Beliefs
Do you feel the need to attend every soccer event at your child’s school just because that is what other mom’s do? As mentioned above, do what suits you. Try not to give in to the demands of others. Don’t feel stressed out in such situations. Every individual has a different parenting belief. And you aren’t bound to follow them all.
Kids do not need us as much as we think they do. Over-dependence can cause your child to be demanding. But, giving them space allows them to be independent. Not to miss but I do kiss and hug my child at every chance I get. However, I believe in giving personal space too.
3. Close Your Eyes and Ears
Whether you choose to send your child to a daycare or hire a babysitter, it’s no one’s business. Stay away from people who give you free advice on what you should do. People will always have something to say. Leave it at that. Only you can make the best choice for your child.
Focus on building a strong bond with your little one. Make them understand that you have other important work to do. Eventually, they will understand. Kids are smarter than we know, isn’t it? My son patiently waits for me to get done with my work for our playtime. Looking at him understand me melts my heart!
4. Sacrifice and Prioritize
Life is all about making the right choices. I love my sleep and now with a child in my life, sleep is a luxury. But when I look at the bigger picture, I am ready to sacrifice my sleep to get my work done. And it’s entirely my choice to do so.
Similarly, you need to sacrifice and prioritise. The key to finding a balance between motherhood and ambitions is to do what’s important. And not do everything at once. Sure, women are superheroes. But we are humans too. Don’t try to excel in every task. Do only what you can’t get away with.
When you are finding a balance between ambitions and motherhood, time is an expensive commodity. Focus on what’s important to you and strategize. You can be an ambitious woman and a great mother – there are plenty of examples out there. But all of it comes with some amount of compromise. Remember, there is no dedicated manual to strike a balance between both. The best way is YOUR way!